I've been so worked up into preparing for my offspring & trying to succeed in my work environment that I've had NO time for the bliggity blog ... Ho hum ... 41 days until impact folks.

Wiggling Through 28 Weeks

28 Weeks down, 12 to go!
I keep telling myself that I am the little train that could - Not too much longer, I've made it this far, I can do it!

Brett and I went out on a limb last weekend and got ourselves a puppy.
The Cutest Puppy EVER I might add...
Major Miller is an absolute hit - Loved by all, and wanted by many - We're happy to call him the newest member of our pack!
It was like the planets aligned & this puppy was meant for us!
I know it's crazy to get a 2 month old puppy 2 months before having a baby but for those of you who know Brett & I - This is no flippin' surprise.
We're on a mission at all times to make our lives as complicated as possible!
No matter how crazy we are, and no matter how crazy our lives are there is one thing that I can say for sure: Brett & I live our lives to the fullest. There's no if's and's or but's about that.. Isn't that what life should be about anyway?

Baby Teo is a MAD MAN - I love watching my belly move and wiggle with him.. My absolute favorite is when he get his bottom all backed up into the area that surrounds my belly button and it turns into this hard little knot that I can rub and love on... As the days go by and I get closer and closer to meeting my little man I have moments of sheer fear but those moments are over taken by the moments of pure joy & excitement.

Our Co-Ed baby shower is this weekend.
We're looking forward to celebrating with all of our friends & family here in Charleston for our special day.  There's so much to celebrate and so much to be Thankful for - It will be very warming to be surrounded by these people & their love.

My Vagina has Betrayed Me

So have my boobs... The skin on my face... My sex drive...(( although much improved from T1 )) So has the skin on my ass... My hormones... My sanity... Everything has screamed mutiny & went heading for the hills... I am a stranger in my own skin! I look at my hands, my feet, my reflection in the mirror and who I was 7 months ago is ... Well ... Different. I haven't been able to coif my girlie parts in weeks! My honey pot is overgrown by weeds of summers past, remnants of grandeur shaded by the secrets of life! The power that once resided there now a dull flame, pausing during the calm before the storm. All transitioning from Pleasure Palace to the Entrance to Life for the most celebrated baby boy.. And it's worth it... I wanted this... I deserved this... I will sacrifice for ... Him! And while I sit here, sharing this, my little reminder gives me Love Taps & Thumps that remind me of why these simple, selfish or selfless sacrifices are being made ... The honey pot shall rise again!

Television - VS - No Television

Today is a learning exercise for me.

While we have painters here updating the appearance of our home ( thank Christ, considering there were 13 people including 5 dogs living in our home before it become ours ) we don't have access to Television.

We've had to pull everything away from walls, take down pictures, and pretty much remove ourselves from things that normally would give us the comforts of "home" so to speak.

I've gone through stages in my life where TV wasn't an issue for me. I've lived without Cable before, had cable and didn't watch much of it before, and have been absolutely dependent on the damn thing a time or two as well..

As the days, weeks, months count down until D-Day ( also known as my Due Date ) Brett & I are reviewing the family finances and coming up with a game plan so we don't have to live lives less ordinary. Although we're becoming parents and it's the happiest time of our lives it's also a time in which we have to re-evaluate things to determine how we want to be parents, be individuals, enjoy things we had before, and give our kids everything they deserve. There's certain things that are non-negotiable in becoming parents and altering our lifestyles, for example:

• Traveling, Brett and I love to travel - We always want to be able to travel. Traveling with 1 kid, or 2 at the most, is cheaper than traveling with let's say 5. Weekend getaways are a must for us, and are not going to  be a thing of the past just because of the Little Prince. 
• Socializing, We're social beings. Socializing costs money. Friends & Family enjoy going out to eat, shopping, going to events that cost money, etc.. This is a non-negotiable when it comes to being a parent. 
• Finances, EVERYONE wants to be financially sound. Unfortunately as younger people Brett & I made some financial decisions that we're still paying and will be paying for in the future. But we have it set in our plan to become more financially stable and to clear ourselves of any fuck ups. We're all young once, we all make stupid decisions and we all pay for them - Some more than others. Compared to the lot, we're doing ok!
• Self Identity, while yes I am going to be Teo's mom - I will at the end of every day still be MARLOWE. Marlowe is a person who needs love and caring, needs time to express herself and time to let loose. Marlowe is sensitive and reckless ( well were working on the reckless part obviously ) Marlowe doesn't want to lose Marlowe while becoming Marlowe Teo's Mommy! The same applies for Brett.
• Things, as humans we accumulate things. Are we excessive, by no means.. If Brett and I need something we get it - After careful thinking we plan what we need and purchase it. No one should go with out.
• Education, We want our kid(s) to have THE best education that possibly can have. If that means putting them into a Daycare that's more expensive than the one next door because they're going to teach my baby "Baby Signing" then yes - We will have it, no matter the cost.

I think the point is pretty well made that while being good parents and being selfish individuals at the same time we plan to figure out ways to have the things/experiences/offerings that we need. 

In order to do all that you have to plan... 

Where can we cut corners?

How can we save?

How can we get to the place where we don't have to worry?

Do we worry now? Sometimes. Do we make it work? Always. Are we comfortable? Compared to others we're golden. But in the reality of everyone's situation it can ALWAYS be better.. Never Settle! 

So this learning exercise comes into play here - Could we live with out television? Cable television that is. Let' compare cable prices, what do you pay for your cable? DISH network to get EVERYTHING you'd really want you're going to pay about $75.00 that may or may not include internet, Comcast For TV & Internet $70.00, Time Warner Cable which is like your basic local cable is about $79.00 - So EITHER WAY, you're paying an estimate of let's say $75 per month for 12 months.. 

That's $1000.00 we could be saving EVERY year... 

$1000.00 sounds like some $$ towards DIAPERS, BILLS, or even.. A VACATION! 

Not to mention the fact that my kid is NOT going to sit in front of a TV for amusement all the time.. A disney movie from time to time, yes - But endless amounts of TV.. I think not. 

And hey - Netflix is $14 or so a month - And you can get movies & tv shows.

So, I think the lesson is learned.. 

Now to go through with getting rid of the cable ( eek, we can DO IT! ) 

No Title necessary...

... Because im just babbling ... I'm up late tonight. Stayed up to wish one of my oldest friends a happy birthday. She's 26 this year. As am I - but I'm not really ready to talk about that. Or maybe I am. I still have a month until my actual birthday, but that's soon enough. Or far enough away. Or however you want to look at it. I spent my 25th birthday pregnant. I'm spending my 26th birthday pregnant. In the wide spectrum of things it really makes it seem like I spent the better part of this year pregnant. But we all know that's not really how it works. This year on my pregnant birthday I have much more to celebrate. I've successfully stayed with child into the safety zone of my second trimester. I've made it through my 1st year of marriage. I made a drastic change in my professional life. And lastly I've made some big improvements to my life as a house... So why am I so melancholy about this birthday.. This 26th birthday... I guess it's because it's getting more clear that youth while still at my finger tips is not what it was before. Some of those feelings, experiences, ideas that once were so close now feel so far away. When I replay memories of my life thus far I have an overwhelming sense of satisfaction. I feel whole, like I've done everything I was supposed to do so far... I don't think I left any stone unturned, any words left unsaid, and so on.. This could be wrong. This could be my perception of things. But who's really keeping track? The only thing that scares the shit out of me is that as time goes on... As my life molds from one thing to the next... Those familiar feelings of life, freedom, first time experience, lack of responsibility, passion, laughter, -youth-, those feelings still so familiar now, will be gone forever. They'll be replaced with other more mature feelings... In growing up we morph from one version of ourselves to the next.... How can we be sure that no bits and pieces are lost along the way? Think about it that way and it kind of makes the whole idea of a birthday a bit dark, even if there is a ton to celebrate... For the time being, screw being dark. I'm going to celebrate.

Hurricanes & In Utero Acrobatics

Welp, we're in for some nasty weather today. Thankfully not what was originally projected for us, but nasty nonetheless.. Brett and I packed up all the outdoor furniture, brought it in the plants from the porch and I went out and bought a coloring book to keep myself company in the event of the cable going out. 


This week has been like that past few - Work, home, work, then a dose of food sickness ( I think Baby Teo isn't a fan of Mexican food ) Called out of work sick one day, got off early one day due to Dr.Germain going out of town, helped Brett at his work and now I sit at home kind of waiting to see what the weather is going to do.


 I've always been a pretty big fan of a good storm. It's sad to say that at times when you hear about bad weather coming your way you kind of think to yourself " Self.. This could be awesome.." or you also think to yourself " Self.. This could be devastating.." Either way you then realize that you're having a conversation with yourself and you feel a little bit crazy. With that being said, it's just exciting to see what will come... So I wait...


Baby Teo has been a mad man the past few weeks, lots of movement, lots of growth - Until yesterday - I guess he's kind of at an in between stage but I have to say that he's got me a little freaked out. As always I find myself scouring the internet for info about What to Expect in this kind of scenario. Thankfully I came upon this: Once you start feeling your karate kid's kicks and chops, don't panic if you go several hours — or even a day or two — without noticing any movement. At this stage and with your baby still quite tiny, it's normal not to feel regular movement. To kind of test the waters though I just poured myself a nice glass of Coke to see if I could wake the little bugger up with a nice dose of caffeine, as always, don't judge me.. It's my kid I do as  I please with him! I'll let you know how it goes.


We go to find out what my BFF Brittany is having today, I am so excited for her - And hope she gets a girl.. I think she really wants a girl, I think she really deserves to get what she wants, so we shall see...

Great BALLS of Fire!

Well folks, after 17 weeks of waiting it's official, Baby Miller is a: BOY!

Introducing Teo Miller ( Theodore Brett Miller III )

I think most women dream of pink ribbons and bows when anticipating the arrival of their first child. I have to admit that although given my circumstances I would have been happy with any flavor baby I am absolutely relieved and floored to be having a Bouncing Baby Boy! 

There's something that tells me for my first try in the Mom Dept. I am going to excel at being the mom of a little boy. I am fully prepared for scuffed knees, runny noses and my child attempting to pee on anything he can while potty training. I am prepared to find the pot farm growing in the crawl space of my attic, for girls panties stashed under his bed and to have multiple uncomfortable conversations about things he may or may not have done. 

I can admit already that I will probably be one of those mom's that will think that their son does no wrong but I assure all of you I have full intention of raising a kind and loving young man.

Great Party, Accomplished.

I think I am safe to say that Brett had the best 31st birthday a guy could ask for.
His Slip - N - Slide was a hit.
Everyone had TONS of fun.
He got a surprise Birthday cake.
And people showered him with love ALL day and in to the wee hours of the morning.
One more birthday Celebration to get through next weekend and we Brett can officially start his 31st year of being on Planet Earth.

Baby Miller is growing like a weed.
My belly blossoms and my boobs fit in absolutely NOTHING.
Brett took me to Wal-Mart this week to buy panties that were comfortable for me since all of my designer duds from the likes of Victoria's Secrets etc are no longer comfortable in my opinion.
As I am walking the underwear aisle I'm chuckling to myself that my life has come down to this.
I am willing to give up lace & bows for the comfort in Hanes her Way.
We have a routine appointment on Tuesday, nothing fancy - Just a check up - And I keep my fingers crossed that we will get to hear our little ray of sunshine's heart beat. I always get so excited for that.

Mum comes to town on the 10th - So excited.
I was hoping my OB/GYN would squeeze out a gender determining ultrasound during her visit but unfortunately they will only do it at 20 weeks. Have no fear though, we know how to work around the system and I have made an appointment at a private office that offers 3D/4D ultrasounds that determine gender at as early as 15 weeks. So at our 17 week mark we're heading down to SEEME3D to check out baby Miller's goods so we can finally know what flavor baby we're having! Mum is thrilled she gets to be included in this.. Oh and did I mention Brett, my step dad AND my sister are coming along for unveiling of my little ones private parts. This is a family affair folks.

I have to admit: I'm a little impatient and I bought something in yellow ( gender neutral ) today just to cure the itch to buy something baby related, so SHOOT me.

I shoulda coulda woulda...

... blogged a little bit more if I wasn't so busy recently. Between new job, new baby, new roommate, new paint job in my guest bathroom, new toothbrush ( I know the smaller things ) I just haven't had the time to sit down in front of my computer to do what I enjoy most... Blabber a bunch of random bullshit into cyberspace.

Summer is upon us, it's hot as h-e-double-hockey sticks and I am almost 4 months pregnant ( give or take 2 weeks, but who's getting specific right? ) I don't think the air conditioning in my car knows how to cool itself down with the the heat outside and I've had to give up on my Secret Deoderant and have been using my husbands Old Spice just to get through Summer 2011 with out smelling like ass. Sorry folks, you know I'm honest.

My husband is getting ready to turn 31 at the beginning of August. Yahoo! As he gets older I think he gets better looking.. As I get older, and more pregnant, I look back at the young something TOO hot piece of tail I was and still am ( for the time being ) and I pray to myself Please, oh god, oh whatever you are out there, please let me bounce back after the BEST THING I EVER DID graces us with it's presence in January...

We're having a Slip-n-Slide party for Brett's birthday.. Equipped with the biggest Slip-n-Slide I possibly have ever seen. After a trip to Wally World we have more tarp, hose extensions, hose spliters and Sprinklers than they have to manicure the White House's lawn. I will sit and observe the sliders from the sidelines  ( no one wants to see a pregnant chick go sliding down a hill on a tarp covered with water..of course unless you were born in a barn somewhere. ) sipping on Soda Water with a splash of Lemon ( that's my poison these days )!

My mom is coming to visit next month as well - I am absolutely thrilled to see her.. I have never wanted to hug my mom so bad in my life. Well, that may not be true - I've always been a pretty big fan of hugging that woman and smelling that woman even if she is being the biggest definition of a bitch I've ever met.. I have to admit, this apple didn't fall far from that tree - 2 peas in a pod - I am my mother's daughter - So to call her a bit of a bitch is to take ownership of it myself. But damn it Wendy, I love you and can't wait to see you!

In conclusion, Life - as mentioned a lot lately - is good.. It's really really good, and after positive thinking I've had a lot of positive outcome and I couldn't he happier... Or hungrier, it's time for a bowl of Ice Cream.

Fingers Crossed

I am 11 weeks into my new adventure.
I'm sure you're all just wondering why even here in my happy place I have continued to be so HUSH HUSH about what's going on.
I have to be honest, I have been doing an experiment.
An experiment to see if for once in my life I keep my big fucking mouth shut I'll have some positive outcome.

So far so good.

Talk to me in 2 weeks and we can go over details.

As for everything else, new job is fantastic.. Having weekends off is fantastic. I couldn't be any happier. Whether or not my husband is going to think everything is fantastic when he gets my part time less money paycheck is beyond me.. That's another thing I am going to have to keep you posted on. I keep reminding him it's for the greater good that I took this new job and I also remind myself to thank him daily because with out his hard work and his paycheck we would not survive. So - Shout out to Brett Miller, I love you and thank you for being an amazing provider.

It's been miserable HOT here in the Carolina recently.. I have to admit to hot to even think about going to the beach. I know it could be worse to live in the opposite side of the spectrum but I'm just saying, it's fucking steaming out there.

4th of July weekend is coming up and we have tons of fun fun fun plans.. I'm pleased to report that I have a 4 day weekend as well! WHAT - Who would have thunk it?

Was on the horn with my mum the other day and she says to me " So what's the plan for the holidays?" I almost snapped at her  ( like I have in years past ) " Mom you KNOW I can't do anything over the holidays my work schedule doesn't permit it" but I stopped myself and reminded myself that this year unlike others I will in fact be able to participate in Holiday Cheer like most other people. Oh joy, happy happy joy joy...

I think I'll give Black Friday shopping a try - It's been ages since I've done that!

Vapor-RUB?

I am slathered in Vick's Vapor-Rub in hopes of shaking a bit of a sinus infection. I know you're asking yourself why I don't just head down to the Dr for a little scrip to fix this problem, but unfortunately ladies and gents I am unable to take anything these days due to my current "condition".

Tomorrow's my last day at Aeropostale and I couldn't be more ready.
If I didn't have to show up tomorrow I absolutely wouldn't - BUT - Because I love the girls I work with and because I want to leave in good standings I will stick it out.

My head has been feeling like a balloon ready to pop for days - Terrible!
I can honestly say that I've never had a sinus infection before and due to this I am a big baby about the whole ordeal. The throbbing never ends, my eyes hurt, my ears hurt and every few minutes I fear a bloody nose is coming on.

How cute would that be at my first day of work at the new J-0-B?

I am absolutely mortified about Thursday. Mortified, ready and excited all at the same time. I am so excited to be moving on with my life, so excited to be learning something new but also SO scared that I am going to be absolutely terrible at it. The anxiety of it all has my panties so in a wad that I am having nightly nightmares about the whole ordeal. Not good, not good at all - Especially since I am supposed to be leading a stress free lifestyle to date.

I keep reminding myself that my lifestyle will be so improved and that my over all happiness will excel..
So.. With that being said, someone remind me on Thursday morning to take a deep breathe and that everything will be a-ok?

I absolutely can't stand retail...

I will not, absolutely will not, I repeat will not ever work retail again.
I have 4 days left at my current employer and I have to continuously remind myself that I don't have the luxury of throwing my arms in the air and just walking out (( probably while screaming excessive amounts of profane words. )) I need to be sure that I have a good reference after putting in almost 5 years of service to a company that has been absolutely a pleasure to work for beyond their problem customers.

Today was the icing on the cake:
Any person that thinks they can just say whatever they want to a retail employee (ie; you don't know mathematics and you must not have graduated from highschool )) should subsequently be shot.. Well maybe not shot, but slapped at the least.

Wouldn't it be super beat if you could just birch slap the ignorant and then they would in turn learn their lesson, never to speak some foolishness again? Maybe I'll give it a try, see how it works out...

So if I bitch slap you in the near future you now know why :)

~ Positive Vibes ~

Without saying too much I just want to throw it out there that I could use some positive thoughts and positive vibes thrown my way... I feel success is in my near future and I hope and pray I get what I want. My sensitive little heart can't take being broken again and I want this now more than ever before. Good things happen to good people, and I am a good person - I deserve this, right?

In the past year I have really sat back and reflected on my life and whether or not the hand of cards I have been dealt as of late has any correlation with my past. I can admit that I have done things I am not proud of and hurt the people around me... Mostly because I was hurting myself. I can admit to being a train wreck once upon a time ago, I can admit to being totally selfish... But at the end of the day, I truly cared about people.. I truly want the best for people.. And even on my darkest days, the top of my selfishness I wanted the best for the people I care about and I didn't have bad intention. So I ask myself, because of those decisions am I being dealt a handful of Karma? Should I have lived my life a little bit differently to ensure that in the end I would get what I thought I deserved? I'm a good person, I have good intentions... So can I have good things in turn?

I've never wanted something so badly... And now, all I can do is wait.. Wait for success or wait for heartbreak, it's all about the wait.

Summertime, and the living's WAY TOO EASY

Summer is in full swing after our first floating adventure down the Edisto River, followed by our first backyard cook out, followed by my husband having a hang over on Sunday morning that he had no other choice than to in turn drink away, followed by me being VERY ready for him to hop back on the wagon for the week.

I've given up the sauce for a bit, and I'm ok with that.
Wagon living is good for me, It leaves me with a clear mind.

Green house is a-growing! The air in our home is nice and fresh from all the leaves and flowers a-bloom. And of course, the yard whisperers backyard is an amazon of growing wonder. I'm quite proud of his yard growing expertise. Now if only he'd forgive me for not allowing him to purchase the deluxe lawn mower and instead allowing him to buy the little less expensive but not quite as fancy mower that cuts the grass just fine. The man needs to learn that a high price tag doesn't mean high quality, all the time at least.

... IS anyone else getting UBER excited for the arrival of TrueBlood? Just sayin!

Mr. & Mrs. MIller Grow a Green House

April showers bring May flowers

Except it seems that it's ass backwards in the Carolina's right now.
It's May 4th and I see no flowers ( well that's not necessarily true, my husband has grown a Green thumb and the front of our house is decorated with Flowers ) only clouds holding cold rain showers.

I'm off today - have an appt @ 11am that I am OH SO NOT looking forward to, and then I have the rest of the day full of me time. I wanted to spend said ME time at the beach but apparently Mother Nature hates my guts and there will be no fun in the sun for me.

Perhaps after I leave the retched appt I'll hit the Goodwill and see if I can find something FABULOUS to paint on. My paint set has been stashed away for a few weeks, I suppose it's time that I get on that.

All is well in La Casita De Senor y Senora Miller - We took a last minute get away this weekend to go camping.. Sometimes it's nice to just get the hell out of dodge. Millions of mosquito, no-seeum, and red ant bites later I can honestly say I really enjoyed being one with the great outdoors. It was really nice to just be me, my husband and my dogs!

After weeks off the wagon, I finally jumped back on my Zumba band wagon. Yesterday was a doozy, I had to fight the urge to throw up and/or die.. I don't have the motivation to hop on the Zumba today as I did yesterday but we'll see what the afternoon holds.

I need something good and exciting to happen so I can gush in my blog about it, but life has just been pretty average. But my idea of average compared to most I must admit it pretty fucking awesome.. Just sayin...

Cheesy Facebook Quiz, I just couldn't resist

The first letter of your name is (M). It means that:
You are emotional and intense. When involved in a relationship, you throw your entire being into it. Nothing stops you; there are no holds barred. You are all consuming and crave someone who is equally passionate and intense. You believe in total sexual freedom. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of sexual energy is inexhaustible. You also enjoy mothering your mate.


Hm........ No comment ;) 

Consistently Winning...

I think I have tiger's blood running through my veins.

Although I don't have a harem of  "goddesses " to call my own, I think I am on top of my game. 

My Easter Sunday Funday was a complete success.

Fun was had by all, and I'm pleased to say that I didn't get as wasted as I did last year, yet another example of why I'm winning.

I woke up Monday morning feeling refreshed and super tan I might add.

I have this upcoming weekend off, winning.

Nothing to big planned except a Saturday night filled with birthday festivities, winning.

Husband is going out of town for Saturday and Sunday night so that mean excessive fun with my girlfriends, winning.

And I plan to make a trip to the beach at least once with my 3 days off, winning.

Overall it's a win win situation.

Don't hate me because I'm awesome. 

Look ma, no hands!

I finally feel like I am riding this bike we call life like a pro.
Not only have a removed my training wheels but I feel like I could ride with no hands.

Things feel GOOD.

I will be the first to admit, I've been drinking a little too much.
I assure you that when I say "too much" in comparison to that of an alcoholic "too much" really aint shit.
I've just been drinking from the cup of Dionysis more frequently than let's just say... the last few months.

I know I have been plugging into just about every blog I write that I think I am feeling more like myself. Sorry if you're sick of hearing it but hell I'm feeling it. Everyday is TRULY better than the last and I continue to evolve. Time is an amazing thing, time does heal all pain. Me thinks that I want to enjoy a little bit more me time, a little bit more me and brett time, a little bit more time for us to live a little and be a little irresponsible. We both work so fucking hard we should be able to surround ourselves with good people so we can let loose and enjoy ourselves. Right? It's only fair.

Everyone should be able to have a good TIME. 

Art Thursday

.. it was Art Thursday at the Miller Household.
I woke up on my day off today really energized.
I got off work yesterday @ 5pm and was able to come home to spend an evening with my husband.
It's very rare that we both have an evening off to spend together.
Normally we'll eat dinner together around 11pm when I'm off work after a closing shift. More often than not on the days when I open Brett has patients that eve so we only see each other in passing.
Last night was a rare exception..
and it was PERFECT.
We treated ourselves to some TASTY calzone's from a local Greek/Italian restaurant.
Afterwards I baked brownies and we had warm brownies with vanilla ice cream, se bon!
We ended our perfect little date night at home by watching "The Fighter" I've been DYING to see this movie, and I was quite impressed ( I recommend to all! ).
So like before mentioned, after a great night's sleep I woke up energized.
Brett and I had breakfast at Shoneys this morning. I apparently ordered the largest stack of pancakes ever!
Let's just call that stuff brain food because after a trip to a few thrift stores ( where I found the Bottles for the upcoming creations ) I came home to create this:

Libra, I think I like this

Libra

Inner transformation is likely to make a big difference in your communications right now, Libra. (( I completely agree, I'm learning a whole new way of expressing myself, talking to others, and most of all LISTENING )) Your relationships could improve because you're more open and honest without being too blunt. (( I am all about relationship improvement, my marriage is rock solid but we are always growing, as for my friendships this is a HUGE area of opportunity )) You seem to have a greater understanding of the needs and desires of those closest to you. Unfortunately, this process could also involve leaving some old friends behind. Don't fight it
(( As mentioned above, my listening is getting much better.. But the issue then becomes do I like what I'm hearing.. Do I truly care about what you have to say? Do I relate, does it affect me? Do we have absolutely anything in common? But regardless of that, I am LISTENING, I identify others' needs, now I chose who's needs I intend to fill.. The obvious being those I truly love and care for. The thought of leaving some old friends behind doesn't scare me anymore, it is more liberating. I don't have to hang on just to hang on.. I would rather keep a genuine few, there isn't ALWAYS strength in numbers..Those who aren't mountain moving friends may or may not be left in the dust.. Time shall tell..I can say that those I feel closest to are those who are the farthest away. I 
suppose that's how things work sometimes though.)) 

Let's Make a Baby

In a few brief words I wanted to update you all.
Brett and I are officially going to try to have a baby again.
I've put away the booze, no more cigarettes, etc...
I am dedicated to getting my body healthy for baby.
The last few months although painful have been a killer good time, but I am ready to move.
Back on the saddle for me..
Wish us luck.
Keep us in your thoughts..
Oh my oh my it's going to be fun trying ;)

Call me Mrs.Yucky Face

I was walking on sunshine this morning when I woke up.
Sometime between 11:00am and 4:00pm I fell into this yucky funk of ugliness.

I had to go purchase liquid Drain-O today ( I know, how glamorous ).
My bathtub has decided it's too good to drain and I have been showering myself ankle deep in water the last couple of days. Obviously if I'm wading in ankle deep water husband is too.. I'm convinced we shouldn't wash Kylie in the bathtub anymore. It's been weeks since her last bathtub adventure but still, the drain hasn't been the same since.

There's nothing more depressing than going through the check out line with nothing but liquid Drain-O. You think to yourself " I wonder what the cashier thinks I have going on at home, a giant plumbing disaster, gross" LUCKILY I wasn't buying an industrial sized plunger, then I know that woman would be like "WTF?".

After my trip to Plumbers-r-Us I decided to take myself for a quick bite to eat, I splurged and had some Reeses Peanut Butter icecream, I just had to - I've been working so hard, I deserve to spoil myself. It's MUCH better that gorging myself with Taco Bell right?

The food didn't help the funk, the ice cream didn't help the funk, so I thought window shopping may help.
I hit TJ Max, Target, Ross ( with hopes of finding something cheap and fabulous, although everything in there is always shit ) popped into Rue 21 ( only because the customer service is so terrible there I like to go in tp remind myself of what an amazing team I work with ) and concluded my window shopping adventure in even more of a shitty mood.

Brett is working late this afternoon, poor baby. He asked me to come up to the lab to watch TV and hang out but I kindly turned him down. This shitty mood needs to be confined to the privacy of our home. I fear that if I were to be in close contact with someone right now my terrible mood would ooze onto them and therefor contaminate them.. There is no more room in this house for another bad mood so I am going to steer clear of everyone including my husband.

Auntie flo is getting ready to come into town - I can feel her fast approach.
My face looks like a piece of pepperoni pizza and I could cry at the drop of a dime.
Yet another reminder of how crappy it can be to be a girl.
I remind myself that I only have to deal with this once a month, for 45+ years and that other than this burden being a woman is quite possibly the most special thing on earth. Agreed?

Weigh in: 142lbs

Yeah you read that right.
I've lost 6 lbs.
I am weighing in @ 142 lbs.
I feel awesome.
I feel sexy.
I feel more and more like myself.
I think I'll treat myself to a new bathing suit.
I may or may not have a reason to rock a new bathing suit here in the very near future.
We shall see?
Where are the Miller's off to next?

Party on the Caul-de-sac (sp?)

So it's friday night and I have no plans other than watching Nip/Tuck reruns on Netflix and cuddling with my pooches. Got home from work this afternoon and cuddled my husband to death so he could take a little napsy-poo before he had to shuffle off to work to play dream weaver. I have to admit I ate Taco Bell ( and wanted to die afterwards ) and I now plan to starve myself for the next week in punishment of eating such shit.

I'm 25 and home on a friday night with no complaints about it.
If I could count all the friday nights I have been out and about getting into trouble and get paid for it I would be a rich rich girl.
So needless to say, I'm ok with being at home.

I live in Suburbia as most of you already know, Brett and I are the only people on our Caul-De-Sac (sp?) that don't have kids. The only excitement that ever happens on Kestrel Dr. is the occasional Basketball game played by the chilren' dem, scraped knee, or dog on the loose. Well I take that back... team Miller really knows how to get the neighborhood rockin'. A few nights before our wedding we managed to throw together quite the shit show on our back porch. There weren't very many of us, but there really doesn't have to be a ton of people to have a good time, you and I both know that. A few of my girlfriends from the Virgin Islands had just gotten into town, a few of our local friends were here.. and well.. Nicole brought lots of Cruzan Rum  so.. need I say more? One too many Powerade Rum Punches later we were out back cursing like sailors and chain smoking.. ( gosh, reliving that night really makes me miss my girlfriends and wish they lived stateside. ) ANYWHO.. So there was that night, there's been a few garage parties and we can't forget the Christmas Eve Bad Sweater Bash... We know how to have a good time.

Tonight on the other hand is a different story:
2 houses to the right of us ( to the right if you're laying in bed blogging, 2 houses to the left if you are out front looking at our house ) is a what we think is a single father and 2 young sons. The father is in the Air Force, the mother is MIA and the 2 sons are quite possibly the cutest kids on earth. They are of Puerto Rican background ( watch out, you know how us Boricuas can get ) and lead a relatively quiet existence..

Until today that is..
I get home from work to 12 cars ( well maybe not 12, but an ass load nonetheless ) jammed into the Puerto Rican driveway, people in the garage chatting in Spanish, music playing and I can imagine red beans and rice being served in the kitchen! It's a regular ol' Fiesta next door. Amen for someone else on the Caul-de-Sac (sp?) making some noise and having a good time.. I was beginning to think that we were the only ones that liked to live a little. Go on and get down with your BAD SELF Puerto Rican family.. Mind if I stop by for a plate of food?

I need a VACATION.

I don't care who you are, everyone needs a vacation, including this little lady.

I'm tired. My feet are tired. My eyes are tired. My arms are tired. Everything is TIRED.

I want to relax, I want my ass and toes in the sand and some sunshine on my face.

Someone deliver my vacation to me sooner than March 17th. Please and thank you!

Been having a HELLUVA good time!

Can I just start by saying the last couple weeks I have felt more like myself than I have in MONTHS!
I have to admit I have been having a little bit too much fun for my own good, but I can honestly say that I am happy. The days of coming home from work and plastering myself to the couch are over, I have rediscovered my social life and I intend to continue to do so.

My husband and I both are on a mission to better ourselves mentally & physically.. I chose to marry a man with a metabolism of a 12 year old boy, and the drive of any world leader so I must say he is well on his way as far as his journey. I on the other hand ( although I am socially thriving per-say ) have myself going in the right direction but it's not as easy of a task for me.

Brett got me ZUMBA for Valentine's Day and I absolutely love it.. Love it to the point that when I came home from a TOO long day at the mall I popped in the DVD and started going to town... Tired or not, I want to Zumba.. I'm on a mission to get myself down a pant size, or two ( nothing crazy )! The struggle factor comes in the eating right department.. I am a meat and potato's kind of girl.. Cutting out the carbs is quite a task for me but I am trying.. and that's what counts.

I flip through old pictures I am tagged in on facebook and that's where I find my goal weight, inspiration etc.. (obviously not from the photo's where i am a case of beer deep and dancing on bars, but you know what i mean). I want to feel beautiful.. I want to love my body.. and therefor love myself a little bit more. I want the air of confidence back that has been lost over the years for a variety of reasons. I have myself to blame for that, not just all the fuckwits and shitty friends that have built this disastrous pile of girl.. Marlowe had a lot to with it too. I think any woman can relate to these feelings though..

But I am on a mission.. to grow and to repair.
Every house needs improvements, my house is going to be the best looking house on the fucking block, and will have a great foundation through myself, my friends, and most importantly my loved ones.. which I have to admit anyone I call a friend these days definitely is more of a loved one than anything else.

Here goes nothing: I weighed in tonight at 148lbs.. Goal weight: 135, I think I can I think I can I think I can!
Said the little engine that COULD..

Take one and pass it down..

I stumbled across these while doing some net stalking.

I am sure each and everyone of you can relate to one of these housewife funnies in some way or another.

Scroll through them, have a giggle. 

Which do you identify with the most?

Enjoy!

Monday Morning ... Not a moment for Manic.

Just another Manic Monday...
Had a VERY busy weekend with work!
Got a ton done. Feeling accomplished.
But boy oh boy was I tired by the time yesterday rolled around.
Worked a 4am - noon yesterday.
Came home for a quick nap.
Then hubby woke me up for some super bowl fun.
Had some family over for the game ( which was a waste of time, which i'm sure most of you know.)
Made paper snowflakes with our little Cousin Gia and colored in coloring books.
It's back to work again today, have MORE to do..
Trying to NAIL this floorset so my boss lady will be a happy camper when she get's back from vacation.
( Which she deserves )
And over all have been a focused little fox.

Had my first trip the chiropractor last week.
Which was QUITE the adventure. I was convinced that after he cracked my neck that Brett would have to wipe my ass for the rest of our lives because I was paralyzed from what normally would be a routine visit. THANKFULLY, I was fine.. It was the noise that had scared me half to death. Turns out Brett and I both need some work to promote our spinal health but no biggy we'll get it all taken care of.

Haven't had anything specifically humorous or witty to share, so sorry if the bloggsky as been a bit BORING.. I assure you there will be better material in the future!

But until then - Keep on keepin on out there in blog-reader land. I have to get ready for work :)

No Subject

It's been a few days since I've blogged.
No I haven't forgot about you. I have been busy.
Our weekend in DC was amazing, I am truly blessed to have such sweet and genuine family & friends.
I miss having people like that around, close by, hands reach: Just in case you need them.
My husband and my family bonded, which warmed my heart. We were able to spend time with his family, which also warmed my heart. Had a beautiful evening with on of my oldest girlfriends ( which ended in a ride on the drunk bus home, it reminded me of college ) I so enjoyed the adventure that Brett and I went on. Right down to the 8.5 hr drive we just had fun.. We needed to get out of the house. I think this trip raised many realizations for us. We've had a lot going on, we need to take a deep breathe and relax.. Everything is going to be ok. We've been thrown some curve balls, but we will come out on top. I am so happy I have such a wonderful person to share my life with. I am not a religious person ( don't judge me ) but I do believe that Brett and I were put on this earth to be together. Quoted from my wedding vows to him:


" We are two pieces of a puzzle, meant to fit " - Boy oh boy do I love you Brett Miller!




I have a smile
Stretched from ear to ear
To see you walking down the road
We meet at the lights
I stare for a while
The world around us disappears

It's just you and me
On my island of hope
Breath between us, could be miles
Let me surround you
My sea to your shore
Let me be the calm you seek

Oh but everytime I'm close to you
There's too much I can't say
And you just walk away

And I forgot
To tell you, I love you
And th' night's too long
And cold here, without you
But I grieve in my condition
For I cannot find the words to say
I need you so

Oh but everytime I'm close to you
There's too much I can't say
And you just walk away

And I forgot
To tell you, I love you
And th' night's too long
And cold here, without you
I grieve in my condition
For I cannot find the words to say
I need you so bad
I need you so bad

On the Turn Around

Things feel better.
Yesterday and the day before were good days.
I like where things are heading.
Now just to keep it all together.
I think I just needed some clarity.
Perhaps a dose of reality.
Things have been so perfect.
Things can never be TOO perfect.
Sometimes, shit happens.
Sometimes, shitty shit happens.
But at the end of the day, it could always be worse.

I'm heading to Virginia on Friday with my husband in tow. This is the first trip we've made there together. We have plans to have drinks with friends on friday night but other than that no plans at all.. Just going to play it by  ear, I look forward to that. I am NOT looking forward to the cold though, I know that much for sure..

Benedryl Bonzai Burger?

Don't ask me - It just came out - and I liked the way it sounded.. Mainly because 2 Benedryl's later I am slowly falling into a exhaustion induced Coma. I look forward to a good night's sleep tonight, last night was a long night.

The last month or so finally culminated into a panic attack for the record books. Eyes wide open, chest heavy, heart beating a mile a minute I laid in my bed last night as close to a nervous breakdown as possible. My husband lay beside me, fast asleep, exhausted.. Poor thing. He works his ass off. In the office all day, tending to patients all night. I admire his dedication and hard work.. That's why I tried not to stir him while I was avoiding pulling my hair out.

I know, I know.. This doesn't sound like me.
I am a ray of sunshine.
I am the exception to the rule.
I am unharmed by turmoil.
I am rubber, things bounce off..
I am... POSITIVE, PERKY, but farrrrrr from PERFECT.

Truth be told ( but already mentioned in my before blog ) I have been a walking disaster. When my mother brought me into this world she gave me the name Michelle, to go after Marlowe. As of late Michelle as been replaced with "Ticking Time Bomb". Marlowe "Ticking time Bomb" Miller spent all night in a fit of I can't quite say what ( anger, rage, sadness, heartache, heart break, insanity, to name a few ) and then was up @ 8am to be @ work by 9.. I tip toed through the day on an hour and a half of sleep like a champ, had a heart to heart with my boss, and my mother, and then came home to share my day with B.Miller. Survey says things from here are beyond my reach.. I have no control..

Now when I say "No Control" this doesn't mean there should be cause for concern.. To break it down for you I am no longer able to put up my front. To clarify further I am in a wee bit of a depressed patch that will soon pass. My heart is not yet healed after losing something that no one on earth could understand what importance it had to me.. Well, unless you've been there before of course. So, I am going to talk more about this, privately and perhaps publicly until it all feels a little bit better. No more bottled up emotions masked by a witty joke or a quick quip. I claimed to be raw before, which I was.. There's no doubt there... But raw only to an extent that fell in my comfort zone.. What is to be considered raw now is basically a different approach to this grieving process. I AM SAD. I AM ANTI SOCIAL. BUT... I am getting better.. Slowly but surely.. I am getting better!

Until then, I'll take a few Benedryl and sleep last night off.. As a matter of fact, I am feeling better already.. I am feeling better after talking to you, getting it off my chest, you know who you are. Thank you! I just need to keep talking, and for any of you that REALLY know me you know this WONT BE AN ISSUE!

Teen Mom 2, what a joke!

Does anyone else watch that show and become livid?
I have to admit, once I turn the show on I can't turn it off!
I get sucked into it like it's TV crack.
I watched for a while last night.
The new season of young mom's are just as clueless as the last, with an exception of a  few.
I feel for the mom with the twins, I can't imagine what it would be like to find out there was something wrong with your beautiful baby.
I feel for the moms who are dying to rebuild relationships with their baby daddies..
I DO NOT feel for the mom ( that little bitch Janelle ) who are completely clueless as to the gift of life they've been given. While I understand she is young, dumb, and irresponsible I have witnessed women excel as single mothers. Single young mothers at that. It's not fair to pardon her behavior because she's young. The partying, the defiance, the blatant drug use, the scantily clad outbursts. I mean really... This is why you are not fit to be a mother. This is why YOUR mother is willing take responsibility for YOUR child.

MTV, thank you for depicting what it is like to be a young parent, thank you for showing other teens that it's no easy task, but please... Take that girl off TV before I drive to wherever she is so I can sit down with her and tell her just how lucky she is to have a beautiful baby..

It's in the moments like this where I get angry..
Angry for the people who less deserve to be a parent.
I have these moments.
But other than that things are starting to get back to normal.
Even Brett told me the other day that I am starting to go back to me.
Let me tell you this adventure has been tough.
I really lost myself in this, things got dark..
It leads me to believe that when we do actually get pregnant and successfully birth one of the cutest children known to man, we should be prepared for an emotional roller coaster after the fact.. Apparently my chemicals are off balance and when it comes time to even them out things will get a little mental. But hey, it's natural. Comes with the territory.. and I'll take it! I keep my fingers crossed that with in the next month or so we'll conceive. Keep your fingers crossed too!

A zodiac shift?

Remember a few months ago when I was oozing over Zodiac signs and what not. I was trying to identify with being a Libra and blah blah blah..


Well now I'm thrown a curve ball, apparently I am no longer a Libra. I play for the Virgo team? WTF? What if I don't want to be a Virgo? Phew I can't wait for all this to pass, it has to be a crock of shit right?


2011 For a Virgo:
You are very clever and have original ideas, you have a liking for scientific occupations. You are very much freedom loving and will change occupations very often. You may be a bit stubborn at times and others would have difficulty getting along with you. You are likely to be involved in noble deeds. During this period, you will be extremely happy and some auspicious ceremony could also take place in your family. Your income will increase and your contact with senior or government authorities will improve. By dint of your skill, you would be able to handle even adverse situation. Family happiness is assured for you. You may be interested in philosophy ormetaphysics. An absolutely perfect state of mind is also guaranteed in this period.


2011 For a Libra:
The conjunction of venus and uranus gives you good charishma and makes you romantic. You may have unusual and original ideas about art and love. You will be independent and enjoy financial advantages. You will be very optimistic and able to inspire others. You are also likely to be very lucky. You are very vigorous and have strong vitality and are very firm about your beliefs.


Judging by all this hoopla I am sticking with being a libra, no matter what all this bullshit is about. I think everyone should go ahead and stick with what they've known for the better part of their lives. No no No, I am not opposing change, I oppose all of us being fed a bunch of bullshit. From here on out, I hit the ignore button on the New Zodiac signs... I'm a FLIPPIN' Libra. 

It's the Smaller things, that suck!

The Bissell Rewind - Works wonders with Animals!

I remember in years before when I would think about buying things for myself I would immediately think of material things, clothes, shoes, jewelry, a new over priced purse. Nowadays when I think about splurging I consult with my PID (Partner in Domestication) and we plan on what we intend to buy. Coffee table, plants for the front yard, holiday decor, speaker system for the bedroom, and most recently a Vacuum. 

When I actually go to buy something for myself I think it over thoroughly before going forward with the purchase. Yes those shoes are cute, but do I REALLY need them. Oh my god, I'd love to have a new pair of jeans from Express, but I can get a perfectly good pair from work and at a better price. Kate Spade has beautiful new styles of purses this season, but I have 4+ perfectly good Coach purses that I don't use enough. Needless to say when it's all said and done with I normally walk away empty handed ( or keep checking back until the items I want are on super clearance so I can grab them for a steal ). 

It's interesting how the important things shift from each stage of life to the next... I'm thinking the next time I feel to splurge a little I am going to head down to the local craft store. I feel like I need more of an artistic outlet. My blog is doing wonders, getting on here and typing away is such a form of relief but I think I need more. I need a hobby, I need something to keep me occupied. Something other than my TV set. I think I am going to start painting Still Lifes. Giggle at me, it's ok, I don't mind. I think it'll be fun, I think it'll be calming. That's the hobby idea of the week, it may change next. Either way I am determined to fulfill this need for artistic expression.. I can see Brett and I's house being covered in my rookie artwork, at least he'll support me in my artistic endeavors. But how do I bribe him into coming to Michael's with me to walk the aisles for hours in search of the perfect hobby? Ideas? 

someone shoot me

Today is not starting off on a good foot.
My iPhone is officially iFucked.
And to top it off, I got my period.
I don't feel like being nice to anyone today.
Brett reminds me that now we'll better know where I'm at in my cycle.
He also reminds me that my body must have needed a little more time.
Thanks for the support babe, BUT:
I want to be pregnant NOW!
Back to the phone-fuck-up.
I want to throw my beloved iPhone against a wall.
Screaming, pulling my hair I'd run away and pretend I didn't do it.
How the phone screwed up in the first place is beyond me.
If you need me, don't bother.
I wouldn't answer even if I had a phone that worked.
I feel THAT ugly today.
Good luck to those who have to come in contact with me.
It may not be pretty.

ROLOver Honey

Night before last Brett and I got all tucked into bed with good TV and both of us with our treat of choice. All bundled up warm and cozy we drifted off into TVLand, chomping on Airheads and Rolos. Eventually we went from TVLand to Dreamland and so the evening went.

In the early hours of Monday morning I awoke to Brett shifting for comfort therefore rolling in a new direction. While doing so I felt him peel something from my rear... Shortly after that I heard " Aw... Babe!" I woke up, but not completely. " You dropped a Rolo in bed and then it melted on your butt!" ( silence ).

I don't think I said anything in response, like I said I woke up but not completely so I just drifted away again. When I woke up I replayed what had happened hours earlier and giggled to myself. If only I had rolled over to see Brett's face. He probably had this little grin, he was probably thinking to himself " Look at what I married.."

I get out of bed, I head downstairs for Breakfast with the hubby and we go along with our normal routine. When we head upstairs to do laundry, get ready for work, etc I turned my backside to Brett at one point.. Upon doing so Brett says to me " There's chocolate ALL over your ass.. You're a mess.." I quickly dash to the bathroom to take a peak, low and behold my toosh is covered in melted chocolate. Awesome. I win the award for being a big slob and I am embarrassed in my own house. Awesome.

We go on with our day.

While at work yesterday I started thinking to myself how on earth could that have happened. I mean, there's the obvious: I dropped a Rolo in bed... But then how did it manage to smash it'self allover my Ass? So I come up with this brilliant scenario: Brett and I were spooning and somehow we managed to kick up this Rolo in between us then we smooshed it and it melted from our body heat.

End of story. Case closed.

I come home from work, Brett tells me he's been doing laundry all day ( yes I know, my husband is perfect ) and that the sheets are still in the dryer. I ask him why the sheets needed to be washed and he informs me that I had managed to get chocolate and caramel ALL OVER the sheets. So not only my person but now our bed sheets... Basically, I fail.. But the Rolo's we're SO GOOD!

Auntie Flow, are you a NO SHOW?

I'm confused.. My body is confused..
Perhaps that's why the Dr's tell you: Wait 6 weeks before getting back on the saddle as your body will need some time to recover. What they REALLY meant to say is: stuff is going to be all sorts of weird for awhile, you may get a period you may not.. Your boobs might hurt every day, but they might not. You will gain and loose weight here -n-there but who knows what the means. You might be an emotional hormonal disaster, but yet again, who really knows.

Big Red

Code Red

On the Rag

Weeping Womb

Crimson Tide

Arts and Crafts Week @ Panty Camp

Some of the girls I work with have been talking about their cycles starting, cramps, upset tummy's, huge boobs, you name it.. In the past some of us have been on the same cycle. Which as you can imagine makes for  QUITE the CHIPPER group of mall employees. So when this cycle came along and all the ladies were complaining about natures curse I thought to myself, should I be back on the chain gang with them?

Riding the Cotton Cowboy

Wounded Clam

Dracula's Tea Bag

Flying the Red Flag

Leak Weak

Anywho, let me clarify that I am not begging for a week of bloody hell, literally.. All I am saying is that I would love some clarity as to where I am at in MY cycle.

Don't get me wrong, Brett and I are enjoying practicing in the baby making department, but it's always nice to know whether or not you're taking a shot in the dark as far as where you fall in your monthly routine. To add to that, my poor husband keeps on giving me this "Stay away from me Wild Woman" look which leads me to believe that he's starting to think I am using him only to procreate. There is fact and fiction to that, you and I both know this.. But I can assure you, even though he wont admit it, he LOVES the fact that things are heating up in the Miller boudoir :0) Even though I think he's starting to get a little bit tired. 

Shark Bait

taking Carrie to Prom

Old faithful

Out of Order

Red Letter Days

Sailing Old Rusty