I guess that's why they call it the blues...

Hormones are finally kicking in.

I'm kind of a crazy woman.

Whether it's work making me want to cry, movies making want to cry, a red light making me want to cry, my friends making me want to cry, whatever it may be - I cry. If I'm not crying I feel sad. If I'm not sad I'm mad. If I'm not mad I am over the top happy. It seems the only time I'm normal is when I'm sleeping and when I sleep I get up about 2 to 3 times to pee. Had a nervous breakdown at work on Wednesday, which was AWESOME (not). I never cry at work, and when I say never I mean NEVER. Normally I keep my composure while other people cry. Wednesday was just a recipe for disaster and I caved in. 

My Baby Daddy ( hahaha, that sounds so funny..) Excuse me, my husband read to where I've read upto in my "What to Expect When You're Expecting" book. He seems much more present with what's going on with me now that he's read and realizes I'm not making it all up! I assured him from the jump that things were getting weird with me, but he assumed I was just being an over dramatic girl ( there's some fact to that ) but now he's all informed and makes comments like " Yeah honey, I read in the book that this would happen.." or " The book says you should ... " Nice work honey, thanks for hopping on board. Love you!

I've got a couple of girlfriends that already have kids. When their kids were born I was in my hard partying stage and wasn't really concerned with their lives changing. They would constantly say how their friends no longer had time for them or never wanted to do things that were pregnant friendly or mom friendly for that matter.. I brushed it all off and hit the bar like a champ, would ignore their calls in the early morning hours when I was hung over and would make excuses as to why I couldn't make it for dinner ( normally because I wanted to go to Happy Hour ). 

Now the tables have turned....

I will admit to kind of secluding myself since meeting my now husband. Over the last year or so I have realized that my priorities have shifted and I don't have as much in common with my friends here in Charleston as I once did. Do I love them any less: NO! Do I still enjoy their company: YES! The dynamic has just changed. Before baby I would see my group of friends at least every other week, maybe every 2 weeks at the most. We'd hit the bars, or get together for some holiday, or would do something booze related. Normally during the week I don't really talk to anyone other than Brittany (my sister from another mister) or Sara who I've become close with after she dated a friend of mine. So not having contact with the rest of the "crew, if you will" is not a huge surprise. Like mentioned above the dynamic of many friendships have changed over the last year. What was once a large group of beer guzzling party people has kind of split up and gone different ways, some in my direction of domestication, some have moved, some still remain, some haven't changed at all. It just depends... So here comes the turmoil: I feel like I need people now more than I have in the past year.. I have this overwhelming sense of loneliness. My husband is fantastic at keeping me company and occupied and happy but as we all know sometimes we just need an outlet. Someone on the outside. I was really excited around Halloween. I got myself a cute little Ladybug Outfit and hit the bar scene with my girlfriends so I could get out of the house and feel "normal" so to speak. I snacked on fried food and drank sprite while the rest of them carried on our normal routine. Cocktails and giggles, late nights and hangovers. I on the other hand was home by midnight, and exhausted the next day because my body is used to going to bed early at this point. I have not seen any of my girlfriends since.. Oh wait.. I take that back, Brittany came over for dinner one night last week. Which I don't think she realized how much a.) that meant to me and b.) how much I enjoyed it. We've made plans that have fallen through since and haven't had a time together as of yet. I was really looking for some girl time today.. I called around.. Everyone was busy.. So Brett being the best husband he is, took me to lunch and shopping at the outlet mall just as I had wanted to do with a gal-pal. 

Don't get me wrong: I enjoyed this day with my husband, I enjoy ANY time I spend with him... BUT ... I would have come home so refreshed if I had spent time with someone that shares the same sexual reproductive organs as I. Will my friends get better about spending time with me in my new "condition" or will I just be a lonely bird for the next 7 mths? Should I care, or should I just continue on rolling solo? Who knows, time will tell.. But needless to say: I've got a case of the blues.

I BAKED 3 DOZEN HOMEMADE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES THOUGH. Yum!