Been having a HELLUVA good time!

Can I just start by saying the last couple weeks I have felt more like myself than I have in MONTHS!
I have to admit I have been having a little bit too much fun for my own good, but I can honestly say that I am happy. The days of coming home from work and plastering myself to the couch are over, I have rediscovered my social life and I intend to continue to do so.

My husband and I both are on a mission to better ourselves mentally & physically.. I chose to marry a man with a metabolism of a 12 year old boy, and the drive of any world leader so I must say he is well on his way as far as his journey. I on the other hand ( although I am socially thriving per-say ) have myself going in the right direction but it's not as easy of a task for me.

Brett got me ZUMBA for Valentine's Day and I absolutely love it.. Love it to the point that when I came home from a TOO long day at the mall I popped in the DVD and started going to town... Tired or not, I want to Zumba.. I'm on a mission to get myself down a pant size, or two ( nothing crazy )! The struggle factor comes in the eating right department.. I am a meat and potato's kind of girl.. Cutting out the carbs is quite a task for me but I am trying.. and that's what counts.

I flip through old pictures I am tagged in on facebook and that's where I find my goal weight, inspiration etc.. (obviously not from the photo's where i am a case of beer deep and dancing on bars, but you know what i mean). I want to feel beautiful.. I want to love my body.. and therefor love myself a little bit more. I want the air of confidence back that has been lost over the years for a variety of reasons. I have myself to blame for that, not just all the fuckwits and shitty friends that have built this disastrous pile of girl.. Marlowe had a lot to with it too. I think any woman can relate to these feelings though..

But I am on a mission.. to grow and to repair.
Every house needs improvements, my house is going to be the best looking house on the fucking block, and will have a great foundation through myself, my friends, and most importantly my loved ones.. which I have to admit anyone I call a friend these days definitely is more of a loved one than anything else.

Here goes nothing: I weighed in tonight at 148lbs.. Goal weight: 135, I think I can I think I can I think I can!
Said the little engine that COULD..

Take one and pass it down..

I stumbled across these while doing some net stalking.

I am sure each and everyone of you can relate to one of these housewife funnies in some way or another.

Scroll through them, have a giggle. 

Which do you identify with the most?

Enjoy!

Monday Morning ... Not a moment for Manic.

Just another Manic Monday...
Had a VERY busy weekend with work!
Got a ton done. Feeling accomplished.
But boy oh boy was I tired by the time yesterday rolled around.
Worked a 4am - noon yesterday.
Came home for a quick nap.
Then hubby woke me up for some super bowl fun.
Had some family over for the game ( which was a waste of time, which i'm sure most of you know.)
Made paper snowflakes with our little Cousin Gia and colored in coloring books.
It's back to work again today, have MORE to do..
Trying to NAIL this floorset so my boss lady will be a happy camper when she get's back from vacation.
( Which she deserves )
And over all have been a focused little fox.

Had my first trip the chiropractor last week.
Which was QUITE the adventure. I was convinced that after he cracked my neck that Brett would have to wipe my ass for the rest of our lives because I was paralyzed from what normally would be a routine visit. THANKFULLY, I was fine.. It was the noise that had scared me half to death. Turns out Brett and I both need some work to promote our spinal health but no biggy we'll get it all taken care of.

Haven't had anything specifically humorous or witty to share, so sorry if the bloggsky as been a bit BORING.. I assure you there will be better material in the future!

But until then - Keep on keepin on out there in blog-reader land. I have to get ready for work :)

No Subject

It's been a few days since I've blogged.
No I haven't forgot about you. I have been busy.
Our weekend in DC was amazing, I am truly blessed to have such sweet and genuine family & friends.
I miss having people like that around, close by, hands reach: Just in case you need them.
My husband and my family bonded, which warmed my heart. We were able to spend time with his family, which also warmed my heart. Had a beautiful evening with on of my oldest girlfriends ( which ended in a ride on the drunk bus home, it reminded me of college ) I so enjoyed the adventure that Brett and I went on. Right down to the 8.5 hr drive we just had fun.. We needed to get out of the house. I think this trip raised many realizations for us. We've had a lot going on, we need to take a deep breathe and relax.. Everything is going to be ok. We've been thrown some curve balls, but we will come out on top. I am so happy I have such a wonderful person to share my life with. I am not a religious person ( don't judge me ) but I do believe that Brett and I were put on this earth to be together. Quoted from my wedding vows to him:


" We are two pieces of a puzzle, meant to fit " - Boy oh boy do I love you Brett Miller!




I have a smile
Stretched from ear to ear
To see you walking down the road
We meet at the lights
I stare for a while
The world around us disappears

It's just you and me
On my island of hope
Breath between us, could be miles
Let me surround you
My sea to your shore
Let me be the calm you seek

Oh but everytime I'm close to you
There's too much I can't say
And you just walk away

And I forgot
To tell you, I love you
And th' night's too long
And cold here, without you
But I grieve in my condition
For I cannot find the words to say
I need you so

Oh but everytime I'm close to you
There's too much I can't say
And you just walk away

And I forgot
To tell you, I love you
And th' night's too long
And cold here, without you
I grieve in my condition
For I cannot find the words to say
I need you so bad
I need you so bad

On the Turn Around

Things feel better.
Yesterday and the day before were good days.
I like where things are heading.
Now just to keep it all together.
I think I just needed some clarity.
Perhaps a dose of reality.
Things have been so perfect.
Things can never be TOO perfect.
Sometimes, shit happens.
Sometimes, shitty shit happens.
But at the end of the day, it could always be worse.

I'm heading to Virginia on Friday with my husband in tow. This is the first trip we've made there together. We have plans to have drinks with friends on friday night but other than that no plans at all.. Just going to play it by  ear, I look forward to that. I am NOT looking forward to the cold though, I know that much for sure..

Benedryl Bonzai Burger?

Don't ask me - It just came out - and I liked the way it sounded.. Mainly because 2 Benedryl's later I am slowly falling into a exhaustion induced Coma. I look forward to a good night's sleep tonight, last night was a long night.

The last month or so finally culminated into a panic attack for the record books. Eyes wide open, chest heavy, heart beating a mile a minute I laid in my bed last night as close to a nervous breakdown as possible. My husband lay beside me, fast asleep, exhausted.. Poor thing. He works his ass off. In the office all day, tending to patients all night. I admire his dedication and hard work.. That's why I tried not to stir him while I was avoiding pulling my hair out.

I know, I know.. This doesn't sound like me.
I am a ray of sunshine.
I am the exception to the rule.
I am unharmed by turmoil.
I am rubber, things bounce off..
I am... POSITIVE, PERKY, but farrrrrr from PERFECT.

Truth be told ( but already mentioned in my before blog ) I have been a walking disaster. When my mother brought me into this world she gave me the name Michelle, to go after Marlowe. As of late Michelle as been replaced with "Ticking Time Bomb". Marlowe "Ticking time Bomb" Miller spent all night in a fit of I can't quite say what ( anger, rage, sadness, heartache, heart break, insanity, to name a few ) and then was up @ 8am to be @ work by 9.. I tip toed through the day on an hour and a half of sleep like a champ, had a heart to heart with my boss, and my mother, and then came home to share my day with B.Miller. Survey says things from here are beyond my reach.. I have no control..

Now when I say "No Control" this doesn't mean there should be cause for concern.. To break it down for you I am no longer able to put up my front. To clarify further I am in a wee bit of a depressed patch that will soon pass. My heart is not yet healed after losing something that no one on earth could understand what importance it had to me.. Well, unless you've been there before of course. So, I am going to talk more about this, privately and perhaps publicly until it all feels a little bit better. No more bottled up emotions masked by a witty joke or a quick quip. I claimed to be raw before, which I was.. There's no doubt there... But raw only to an extent that fell in my comfort zone.. What is to be considered raw now is basically a different approach to this grieving process. I AM SAD. I AM ANTI SOCIAL. BUT... I am getting better.. Slowly but surely.. I am getting better!

Until then, I'll take a few Benedryl and sleep last night off.. As a matter of fact, I am feeling better already.. I am feeling better after talking to you, getting it off my chest, you know who you are. Thank you! I just need to keep talking, and for any of you that REALLY know me you know this WONT BE AN ISSUE!

Teen Mom 2, what a joke!

Does anyone else watch that show and become livid?
I have to admit, once I turn the show on I can't turn it off!
I get sucked into it like it's TV crack.
I watched for a while last night.
The new season of young mom's are just as clueless as the last, with an exception of a  few.
I feel for the mom with the twins, I can't imagine what it would be like to find out there was something wrong with your beautiful baby.
I feel for the moms who are dying to rebuild relationships with their baby daddies..
I DO NOT feel for the mom ( that little bitch Janelle ) who are completely clueless as to the gift of life they've been given. While I understand she is young, dumb, and irresponsible I have witnessed women excel as single mothers. Single young mothers at that. It's not fair to pardon her behavior because she's young. The partying, the defiance, the blatant drug use, the scantily clad outbursts. I mean really... This is why you are not fit to be a mother. This is why YOUR mother is willing take responsibility for YOUR child.

MTV, thank you for depicting what it is like to be a young parent, thank you for showing other teens that it's no easy task, but please... Take that girl off TV before I drive to wherever she is so I can sit down with her and tell her just how lucky she is to have a beautiful baby..

It's in the moments like this where I get angry..
Angry for the people who less deserve to be a parent.
I have these moments.
But other than that things are starting to get back to normal.
Even Brett told me the other day that I am starting to go back to me.
Let me tell you this adventure has been tough.
I really lost myself in this, things got dark..
It leads me to believe that when we do actually get pregnant and successfully birth one of the cutest children known to man, we should be prepared for an emotional roller coaster after the fact.. Apparently my chemicals are off balance and when it comes time to even them out things will get a little mental. But hey, it's natural. Comes with the territory.. and I'll take it! I keep my fingers crossed that with in the next month or so we'll conceive. Keep your fingers crossed too!